Bijgewerkt: 31 aug 2020
Feeling powerless - I had a very tough week to be honest. I feel exhausted and certainly Powerless, without ability, influence, or power.) Something happend this week which broke my heart. Ever since I haven’t been able to cry or process it. Something is blocking me and I’m not sure what it is... and it‘s irritating me. I think it will come when I least expe it. ‘Let go and let god’
Feeling powerless over these situations this week is not fun but the only thing I can do is be there and listen. Share my side of everything and hope everything will be okay. I don’t wish this disease on my worst enemy (I don’t think I have enemies 🙈) Life in Recovery is great but that is only when you use your tools and willingness to stay clean.
This week I also heard a rumour that was said by someone a few months ago. I got really mad and couldn’t really let go of it. Now I sort of have ... I just find it rude of gossiping about someone when that rumour can actually ruin someone’s life. ‘Gossip leads to relapse’ (I might be projecting my anger on this rumour that actually comes from my irritation of not being able to cry or process this week but still I don’t think it’s okay.)
Some days, I feel everything at once. Other days I feel nothing at all.
Due to everything happening this week. The band between my family and friends has grown extremely. Which I feel grateful for! This week wasn’t all bad but it was very hard to focus on positive things. But that’s life!